Thursday, 15 May 2008

How to Be a Writer

Wow, I sure am full of shit.

Just remember, when you freelance, be sure to say as little as possible in as many words as you can. Also, be punchy, witty, and ironic. Use words like angular and cathartic for rock music and phrases like " cop this record" and "word on the streets" when describing rap music.

Just look how well I write for LeCool .

Thank You New Media!

Thank God New Media has produced the complete democratisation of political discourse. The spectrum of opinion is astounding!

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Subsequent Discourse

or 'How to Discuss Race in America' by PT Barnum

Lesson 1: Blame racism on the offended. After all, racism is indeed a delusion suffered by homosexuals, yankees, and other paternalistic racists.

Lesson 2: Direct the discussion away from race. Deny any negative historical connotative links between objects and groups. Monkeys are cute and loveable, nooses are for state ordained executions of outlaws and other miscreants, and blackface is an innocuous ode to simpler times.

Lesson 3: Invoke free speech. It's right there in the US constitution; citizens are free to speak without fear of a discussion emerging.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

The New Cosmopolitans

With the dawn of the 21st Century falling rapidly behind us we can find security in the knowledge of our interminable progress toward universal equality. Please excuse our forebears for they knew not what they did; things were different back then. Only in the United States of America can a man of color rise to great prominence and earn such respect as to have a t-shirt printed in his honor.