Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Pure Salt

Strewn about the ground of Yeasayer's musical mountain retreat lays not snow but the pure salt of every failed musician.

Hopefully the spirit of Beorn will rouse the carnivorous appetite that made All Hour Cymbals such a great record. Though may the salt consume them like a homeless snail if they follow the short path of time to 80s bombast. Follow their perilous journey here

Thursday, 12 February 2009

The Bees Made Honey in Carl Schmitt's Skull

A recent AP report has confirmed today the deepest, darkest fears of many Utah residents with the news that Africanized bees have finally infiltrated the hives of Washington and Kane Counties. The invidious beasts, according to professor Kirk Visscher of the University of California at Riverside, 'get irritated faster, respond with more firepower and stay mad longer than other bees.' They are also said to exhibit higher irrationality and are thought to act on intuition rooted in 'gut feelings' rather than the calculated rationality of native bees. One local resident expressed disquiet at the bees' seeming communal spirit and blind, wholesale approval of a single, charismatic leader, "they ain't got no respect for a man's right to privacy, dancing about in great ritualistic swarms to the god-forsaken percussive racket of their collective wings."

State leaders are said to be ruing the day the National Basketball Association forced the Utah Jazz upon the residents of Salt Lake City. Governor Jon M. Huntsman, Jr. though responded with the hope and optimism of anyone faced with such dire circumstances, "let this be just another test to the great people of the State of Utah, a test of their solidarity and of the sturdiness of their bomb shelters, a preparation for the next stage of the rapture.”

Friday, 6 February 2009


The liberal critique spins a mighty tale of imperfect regimes within a perfect system. From conservative nationalism to liberal nationalism, our Janus turns its head.

George W. Bush should host a revised version of the TV reality show The Biggest Loser, on which corporate executives compete weekly for the most colossal management debacle. The winner gets a $200 million severance package and a presidential pardon.
 --Kristen Wack

Thursday, 5 February 2009

The Clash of Civilisations

“I don’t know Sam, I’m unsure.”

“I swear I have seen this exact film before.”

“Of course you have dear sir, its historicity is most accurate, a terrifying amalgamation of the past and future days. The public has a real fetish for this kind of thing.”

“Yes, but there is no imagination, no soul, just iteration. I see no justification for it. It’s too disjointed. Yes, the story told is linear. But the images contradictory. “

‘Trust me. Keep reading.’

“Now John Ford, Tolkien gave us narrative, a foundation, transcendence, glorious and justified. The perpetual goodness of the protagonists. But all I see here are institutions and even those codes are bloody.’

“There is something here. A correlation, language, belief. But surely there are innocents.”

“All complicit my dear friend.”

“The transgression does seem disproportionate. Plus I do feel as if I’m watching the news. What about the New York Times? Surely they’ll have something to say about it.”

“All complicit my dear friend.”


“Extraneous to the market sir.”

“Is Segal available? “

“He says he’s just a cook.”