A recent AP report has confirmed today the deepest, darkest fears of many Utah residents with the news that Africanized bees have finally infiltrated the hives of Washington and Kane Counties. The invidious beasts, according to professor Kirk Visscher of the University of California at Riverside, 'get irritated faster, respond with more firepower and stay mad longer than other bees.' They are also said to exhibit higher irrationality and are thought to act on intuition rooted in 'gut feelings' rather than the calculated rationality of native bees. One local resident expressed disquiet at the bees' seeming communal spirit and blind, wholesale approval of a single, charismatic leader, "they ain't got no respect for a man's right to privacy, dancing about in great ritualistic swarms to the god-forsaken percussive racket of their collective wings."
State leaders are said to be ruing the day the National Basketball Association forced the Utah Jazz upon the residents of Salt Lake City. Governor Jon M. Huntsman, Jr. though responded with the hope and optimism of anyone faced with such dire circumstances, "let this be just another test to the great people of the State of Utah, a test of their solidarity and of the sturdiness of their bomb shelters, a preparation for the next stage of the rapture.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090212/ap_on_re_us/africanized_bees
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